The Toddler Tantrum Survival Guide 
By: Kristen J. Gough

Screaming. Kicking. Occasional biting. If you have not yet witnessed a toddler tantrum firsthand, you've certainly heard about them. While these mini-meltdowns are a normal part of a child's development, there are ways parents can help toddlers to experience tantrums less often and with less intensity—something that can make both toddlers and parents happier!

When and Why Children Have Tantrums

 -- Tantrums are a normal developmental stage

 -- Tantrums often occur as a reaction to strong emotions

We've all heard of "The Terrible Twos," but in many children tantrums begin far before the first birthday, sometimes as early as nine months. With a consistent approach to dealing with tantrums, your toddler will most likely outgrow them by the time he reaches three or four years of age.

Tantrums often come when your toddler is experiencing strong emotions but doesn't know how to tell you about them, or how to deal with them himself. "If you understood everything but couldn't talk as fast, you would be angry as well," explains Dr. Ravinder Khaira, a pediatrician at Sutter Health in Sacramento, California, and the father of four-year-old twin girls. "Toddlers have tantrums because they want to become more independent," Khaira says. "They want to do things like put on their clothes or feed themselves and they become frustrated with their limitations and the inability to communicate."

Avoiding Tantrums

 -- Take the time to play and talk with your toddler regularly

 -- Have clear rules and guidelines for your toddler

 -- Treat your child with respect

The first step to avoiding tantrums is establishing good communication with your child, advises Dr. Harvey Karp, author of the bestselling book and DVD, The Happiest Toddler on the Block. He suggests three steps to having a great relationship with your little one.

First, "Feed the Meter." "Just as feeding dimes into a parking meter all day long protects you from dreaded tickets, many five- and ten-minute helpings of playtime throughout each day ward off temper outbursts and create a growing relationship of cooperation and caring with your toddler."

Second, establish clear and consistent limits to behavior. Karp believes that toddlers are a lot like little cavemen, primitive in their expressions of emotions, a bit unruly, and in need of guidelines to follow.

Third, treat your child with respect. When your child is trying to express her emotions, take the time to try to understand her message. She's much