Pregnancy Violations: Don’t Be a Victim
By Colette Bouchez
Source: www.ivillage.com

If you’ve ever been pregnant, these scenarios will probably sound familiar to you.

You're waiting for the train, when suddenly you feel a hand reach out and rub your belly -- and it doesn't belong to anyone you know!  Or you're in a room full of co-workers waiting for your boss to arrive, when suddenly a colleague looks in your direction and announces loudly, "Do you have to go pee before the meeting starts?"

Indeed, as rude and invasive as all of these pregnancy “etiquette violations” are, you've probably encountered them -- and more.

Unwanted Questions

San Francisco pregnancy psychologist and author Shoshana Bennett, PhD, says the first step in stopping unwanted behavior is to recognize that you don't have to accept it.

"I think women in general, but pregnant women in particular, feel a certain sense of vulnerability that makes us think that just because someone asks us a question, no matter how inappropriate it is, we have an obligation to answer it. But in fact, this just isn't true," says Bennett, author of the book Postpartum Depression for Dummies.

Moreover, she says if you do choose to answer -- and it is your choice -- you don't have to give the play-by-play version; you can say as little as you like.

If it feels awkward not to say anything, Bennett suggests giving a positive, but vague, reply. So, for example, if someone asks if your conception was "natural," if you're going to have a C-section, if you plan on breastfeeding, try responding with, "We're just so thrilled we're going to be parents; now what's new in your life?"

"The point is to politely get around the question and then redirect attention back to the other person," says Bennett.

Brennan says her favorite technique is to answer a question with a question. "I like to turn the tables immediately and respond with, 'That's an interesting question -- why do you want to know?' They usually get the message," she says, adding that chances are they won't ask you anything personal again.

Labor Room War Stories

For some of us, it's definitely the "nosy" pregnancy questions that are most annoying. But for others, it's the unsolicited advice that drives us to distraction, particularly the legions of labor horror stories that seem to be on the tip of everyone's tongue the minute your pregnancy becomes apparent. 

Gabrielle Brennan says from the moment she opened GabbyBaby.com, she was flooded with letters from women asking for advice on how to put a cease-fire on those labor room war stories.

"Somehow, I think that every woman who sees a pregnant woman feels it's her obligation to pass along the world’s most scary labor and delivery stories. Even if it's not their own experience, they still have to let you know everything that could possibly go wrong," says Brennan.

Bennett says the answer is to muster up your courage, be bold, and turn down the unsolicited advice post haste!

"You don't have to be nasty or mean. You can simply interrupt the story and say, 'I know you are a wealth of information about pregnancy, and if I ever have a question you will definitely be the person I call. But every pregnancy is different and every delivery is different, so I'd ki