Handling A Clingy Baby 
by: Alan Green, MD

Many children go through a stage when they strongly prefer one parent to every other person in the world. One common pattern is for them to noticeably prefer their mothers during the later part of the first year. The greatest intensity of this typically lasts approximately one month (up to to several months.)

During this very taxing period, you may want to consider ways that your family can adjust their life style in order to help you (and your child) through this:

Don't try to get too much done during the periods you are alone with your child. Use this time to build an even stronger relationship between the two of you.

Adjust the family dinnertime so that you don't start cooking until after Dad has come home and had a chance to unwind.

Have Dad or another responsible adult take your child out of the house for an hour or so each day so that you can have a little time to do the things you need and want to do (like prepare dinner), without her crying to be picked up.

Decline invitations to events that don't fit your family's current needs. If you really want or need to go to the event, consider hiring a babysitter for the evening. As long as you are spending focused time with your child each day, it's okay to get a sitter occasionally in the evening, even if your child is in childcare during the day.

It's okay to let her cry some. Trust your maternal instincts. If you would rather adjust what you are doing and pick her up, do so. At those other moments when your deep desire is to get something accomplished, do what it takes to proceed. If you listen to your deepest desires and act accordingly she will learn both that you love her intensely, and that other people have needs too.

When she starts to cry, breathe deeply, remind yourself that this is only a phase, and think about the parts of being a mother that you enjoy the most! 

Often after children outgrow this stage, they will prefer their fathers to everyone else on the face of the earth. Of course, this brings another round of joys and challenges!

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