Mommy note: I started this in October of 2007- only got 2 complete then our lives took over. I am DETERMINED to start writing to Tyler each month again! Here is the first letter- more to come!
30 months: September 2007
Dear Tyler,
I saw on another Moms website that she wrote a letter to her daughter once a month and I just thought that was the neatest thing EVER. So I am stealing her idea and starting to do this for you. All of the little things you do and say will now be chronicled here for all eternity and of course for high school yearbook quotes sure to embarrass you. I wish I would have started this at month one, but better late than never right?
I can’t believe you are already 2 ½ years old already. You are no longer my little baby. As you like to tell me as you stretch up on your tippee toes, “Mamma, I’m grown up!” I could just cry when I look at you sometimes. I wish you could stay this age forever (until you start the incessant high pitched whining or better yet screaming and melting to the floor- and even then I could just lick your face- that’s how much I love you).
This month we are having some extreme emotional issues with school. You’ve been at the same school since you were 6 weeks old and have transitioned to various rooms- baby, early infant, toddler, etc. with few problems (some tears but nothing this extreme). When it came time to advance rooms again they FINALLY recognized how extremely advanced you are- my little genius- and they advanced you 3 classes to “Preschool Room 2”- not even “Preschool Room 1”- because we all know that class is for babies.
You started preschool on August 13th. The first day was great- new place, new toys, and new playground. Then the second day of preschool came and all hell broke loose- either that or you had some sort of mental twitch because now you absolutely hate that place. We are officially at the end of the 4th week of preschool hell. Each and every morning they peel you off of me, wet cheeks and runny nose from your sobbing that begins as soon as we reach the parking lot. As I tell you that I love you and I’ll be back, you reach out both arms screaming and begging me not to leave you. Screaming that you want me.
This is the absolute hardest thing I have ever done. Walk away from you begging for me to come back, turn my head from yours and leave you with complete strangers.
I thought after the first 2 weeks we would be better- it’s not. I say we because you are not the only one in tears each morning. I am right there with you. I called your Daddy the other morning after I dropped you off to tell him that he had better be glad I owned my own business or I would have quit my job that day.
I call and check on you every day and I started having your teacher leave me a note so I will know how your day was. They tell me you stop crying after 5 minutes or so but that some days you cry on and off the whole day. This would be less painful for me if someone just carved open my check with a dull spoon and ripped my heart out.
The director at your day care (hope she's not reading this!) had the bravery this week to insinuate that you are obsessively attached to me and that we needed to work on “breaking that bond”. Is she some sort of devil? Each day when I pick you up you run to me with a smile and I am grateful. Then you say, “I cried for you Mommy and you didn’t come”. Nice. You know how to send me on a guilt trip and you are 2 ½. I ask you why you cry and you say, “Because I want you”. I want you too baby. What do day care directors know anyway?
You have also discovered a love of language. The colorful kind of language that gets people in trouble. Since you were old enough to ask about your body and its parts, I have told you exactly what they were. For example, I told you, “penis”. People who make up silly names for body parts annoy me. I mean really, you’ll never pull out a dictionary and find the meaning of “tally whacker”. Good grief.
You know not to say these things so you backdoor them- either in song or by saying, “We don’t say penis?” or “We don’t say butt”? DUH! You know your not supposed to say them- wise ass. Dad I and I make excuses for you- we know with us as your parents, you really have no choice but to be a wise ass. Wise ass example number 105: You have been very constipated lately due to your ingestion of 2 gallons (yes gallons) of milk per week. So, we have been pushing juice much to your utter dismay. I give you the only option of, “Do you want green juice or orange juice?”. Response: “Milk- white”. That one was so good I got up and got you the milk- with some Benifiber mixed in. Gotcha on that one.
You also know you are not supposed to say “penis” unless you have some sort of problem with yours. But lately you have been using it in songs because it’s different when you use them as lyrics- right? Your newest one goes something like “penis, penis, penis”. That’s all. No more words. Just that one. Over and over again.
You also excel at word usage – said at the correct moment and with just the right inflection. We were eating dinner the other night and you dropped your cup of crayons. As you dropped them you exclaimed, “Oh shit”. Dad and I are so proud.
Another one of your favorite words is “butt”. You put it at the end of every sentence. “I love you butt.”, “I need some milk butt.”, “Wake-up butt”. You made a song out of that one too but you put a new spin on it. Now it’s “booty, booty, booty”.
What I want to tell you most this month are these things: I love your big smile. I love your belly laughs when dad is eating your tummy meat. I love that you don’t like your hands to be dirty. I love that you have smelly feet. I love that you are learning how to push back when someone pushes you first (Dad and I will deny how you ever learned that one). I love that you are potty trained (except for night times and when you are too busy to leave your Wiggles show to run to the potty to pee). I love that you are sensitive and have a loving heart. I love that you call out for me in the middle of the night. I love that you want me to lay down with you and snuggle every night. I love that my heart melts completely when you tell me I am your best friend. You are my best friend too bam bam- forever.
Love-
Mamma
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